Playlist of the Week - Week of 11/18 - Let's get Proggy

      Welcome to another rendition of Playlist of the Week. This week, we examine my best impression of the new Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza.

        Damn.

          1.) Born of Osiris - Follow the Signs
          2.) The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza - The Alpha/ The Omega
          3.) Veil of Maya - It's Not Safe to Swim Today
          4.) John 5 - Blues Balls
          5.) Art By Numbers -Regression to the Meme
          6.) Emmure - Children of Cybertron (for the lols. Back to srs now.)
          7.) The Faceless - The Deconsecrated
          8.) Protest the Hero - Wretch


     The full playlist can be found here as usual. Happy listening!
     

Chris Brown Causes More Butthurt

       In perhaps the lulziest moment of 'pop artists trying to be edgy', Chris Brown has been spotted wearing a leather jacket bearing patches from bands as heavy as Municipal Waste and Suicidal Tendencies at a show earlier this week.
       As metalheads are wont to do, the community went into a state of uproar at this 'blasphemy' and a barrage of hate was levied at the R&B artist. Today marks the climax of this silliness as Brown's...estranged...ex Rihanna is featured on the back of her album wearing a similar coat. Municipal Waste have remained surprisingly cool with the situation, tweeting "For the record. Chris Brown can sport our shit all he wants. We still think he is a fucking moron."
       It's times like these that the elitism of the metalhead community shines through - when fans have the inability to laugh at the overproduced idiots trying to look cool and instead turn this into a perceived 'war on metal' or a mockery when, really, it's obvious it was just an aesthetic move on the artists' part.
       Metalsucks has the full story.

*sigh* Falling in Reverse is AP's Artist of the Year

        Well, AP has released their 'artist of the year' for 2012, and it is Ronnie Radke's wretched little five-piece. Perhaps there's been a mixup between with 'most hated band of the year'. Mitch Lucker gets a little corner all to himself to be remembered by, and we're treated to Radke's smug little grin on two covers.
        While I understand it's unlikely this choice was made with the I See Stars scandal taken into account, it's nevertheless a complete shock and disappointment to me that this got through, especially since the band released an album last year and has only really been popular for Radke's douchebaggery in the past few months.
          In any case, AP has a tendency to suck up to bands it badly wants on their tour - Miss May I was featured in way too many issues of AP until they were announced as headlining the AP tour. Maybe they're after Falling in Reverse for next year? In any case, I'm very disappointed in AP for this latest rendition of idiocy - the prospect of a section dedicated to the Woe Is Me and Issues 'feud', and putting Sleeping With Sirens and Blood on the Dance Floor as part of 2012's 'Best Bands' makes me sigh even harder.

 

       If you wanted proof to take publications with a grain of salt, here it is.

Playlist of the Week - Week of 11/11 - Chelsea Grin's new EP isn't all that horrific

      Welcome to another iteration of playlist of the week. This week I found myself listening more and more to Chelsea Grin's new EP Evolve, which was released over the summer. It was one hell of a switch for a deathcore band - now they've got clean vocals? What? In any case, it isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be, and I wound up going a little heavier than I have in a few months.
        That, and the new Pierce the Veil is growing on me.

1. Veil of Maya - 20/200
2. Chelsea Grin - S.H.O.T
3. Upon a Burning Body - Heat
4. Shai Hulud - Set Your Body Ablaze
5. Trivium - Shogun
6. letlive - The Sick, Sick, 6.8 Billion
7. Glass Cloud - If He Dies, He Dies
8. Pierce the Veil - The First Punch

   As usual, the playlist is right here. Enjoy!

Damn, it feels good to be right (Motionless in White - Infamous Review)

      

Well, the moment is finally upon us. After months of hype, two singles, multiple studio updates, and a glaring leak a month previous, the new Motionless in White record was released earlier this week. I've talked about the Pennsylvania makeup-friendly group in the past - when they were announced as one of Warped's headliners this summer (alongside Blessthefall and Sleeping With Sirens) and last week going into the release of Infamous, their third studio album (there is a mistake on the former post that lists Creatures as MIW's first. It's their second). But now the golden moment is upon us, and, if you can't read from the title, everything I was expecting from the band came true.

         The band's transformation from originality to imitation is almost complete - Creatures' sound is basically going to stay on that record. Infamous decided to tone up the synth on at least half the album, transforming it from metalcore into Marilyn Manson. Now, I have nothing against Manson, but I've never been too fond of his music. It just isn't my first choice of listening material. Transformation is inevitable, and in some case welcomed, but unfortunately for MIW, this falls flat. Mostly for exactly the reasons I said going into Infamous  - Manson has been playing with and refining this sound for years, since before MIW had even formed.
           The result is an eclectic mashup of weak hooks, weaker riffs, and vocals that seem to be determined to mimic Marilyn Manson at any cost. The introductory track 'Black Damask (The Fog)' is, admittedly, rather cool to listen to as it features an eerie piano until launching into an energetically metalcore sound, but the rest of the record fares less well. The introduction to 'A-M-E-R-I-C-A' involves a bloopy synth as Chris Motionless drawls into a microphone about consumerism that instantly made me think 'Beautiful People'. 'Hatefuck', lyrically and sonically, sounds almost exactly like 'sAINT'.

            Rounding off the cast of imitations are the two singles that were released before - 'Devil's Night' and 'If It's Dead We Kill It' - and two of the record's best hitters - 'Puppets 2 (The Rain)' (which I swear features Matt Heafy of Trivium) and 'Burned at Both Ends'.  What makes these songs the best? Because they didn't completely trash the metalcore-y sound of Creatures. The synth is downplayed (for MIW songs, which means you can barely hear anything over it), and there's an angrier feel to them that makes them all in all far more palatable for someone who has never really been into Marilyn Manson and his derivatives.
          That, and the lyrics are a return to some of the best MIW has to offer. Emotional, yet blistering, with lines like 'Is there a future when you only see in memories? When every loss, every beauty just reminds you of the past, how can you just let go?' contrasted with 'Strip the world and paint it fucking black, now what have you become? You once felt like home, now you're just a ghost in the fog'. There seems to be a recurring lyrical theme of anti-materialism and a rejection of the superficial that's been common to MIW in the past. In Infamous, the band deals with the long-term effect of being shallow - 'If It's Dead We Kill It' concerns itself with models and the fashion industry. Even with the more Manson-esque songs, the band still shows they're talented lyricists. It's a pity the instrumentals just don't hold up.
       This is primarily because it feels like the band has been constantly trying to evolve. With every progressive record, the band has undergone rapid changes - their first EP was completely organic, for example - and while they may have passed their peak, there is still room to return to form. With Creatures' sound not completely eschewed, and the fact that Infamous hasn't quite received the same reception Creatures did, it's fairly obvious what was a better sound.
       Bottom line, despite sharing a name with the catastrophically awful Abandon All Ships album released this year, MIW's take on a record called Infamous is a great example of what happens when you try to change too fast, and your ego starts to play a part. It's not a complete failure, but for the record, I only liked about a quarter of the album.
        Motionless in White have begun touring with Chelsea Grin, Upon this Dawning, and some band called the Witch Was Right from late November into mid-December as part of the Infamous tour.
           

We Came as Romans release 'Glad You Came' Music Video

        For those of you who live under a rock, Punk Goes Pop 5 was released earlier this week. This iteration of the infamous cover series featured bands like the Word Alive, Issues, Like Moths to Flames and Memphis May Fire covering material as vast in scope as Kanye (TWA covered 'Mercy'), J-Beibz (Issues covered 'Boyfriend'), and Bruno Mars (MMF covered 'Grenade').
         We Came as Romans covered The Wanted's Glad You Came and released a silly, silly music video paralleling the original. Unlike yesterday's cringe-worthy Motionless in White video, this one is genuinely light-hearted and going for fun. I'm not sure how I feel about  throwing down to a Wanted cover, but that only adds to the goofiness.
           We Came as Romans will be joining the Used and Upon this Dawning as part of the It Gets Better Tour in winter 2013.

           

Motionless in White Release 'Devil's Night' Music Video

HEEEEEEEEEY KIDS LET'S PLAY THE MOTIONLESS IN WHITE CHECKLIST GAME

Is this video preachy? [x]
Does it involve goofy FX? [x]
Does it try too hard to be serious and/or scary? [x]
Does it feature Chris Motionless mugging the camera half the time? [x]
Does it involve rebellion against the government when the song has nothing to do with that? [x]

Dingdingding! This video is SILLY!

Review of 'Infamous' to come later today.

BREAKING: The World Realizes Ronnie Radke is a Dick

    Earlier this evening, a very butthurt I See Stars released a statement in conjunction with Sumerian Records blasting Falling in Reverse (ex-Escape the Fate) frontman Ronnie Radke in an 8-minute video (see below). Re-posted and tweeted by other Sumerian bands such as Born of Osiris and Winds of Plague, the video features probably the most intimidating specimen of a human being on earth (Brooklyn accent included) listing Radke's criminal history as well as his idiocy on the terribly-named The Thug in You Is Me (just typing it makes me cringe) tour.
      According to I See Stars, Radke kicked I See Stars off the tour following the discovery of weed in the band's van a few months ago. I See Stars offered to play the tour for free, so "we [I See Stars] could still keep our commitment to the fans, i.e. the people who are the reason any of this is even possible."
       Radke allegedly agreed, but forced the band to sign non-disclosure paperwork so that it wouldn't get out that the band was playing for free. However, Radke proceeded to do what he does best and be a complete ass to the band, culminating in a massive temper tantrum at the tour's Detroit show. Radke, in a fit of egotistical fury, lambasted and insulted fans who were chanting for I See Stars before ordering them to leave the venue. The fans were made to leave forcefully by security. One fan was ejected for wearing an Escape the Fate shirt, as testament to Radke's pettiness.
        This has resulted in a rapidly growing backlash against Radke mostly disseminated by the video. What I find particularly funny is that it's taken so long for this to get noticed. Radke is a notoriously arrogant sack of shit with more criminal offences under his belt than makeup on his face.  From being implicated in a shooting and being charged with manslaughter to sleeping with an underage fan, he's no stranger to breaking the law - hell, he's even been in prison!
          And yet he doesn't stop. Radke threw microphone stands into the audience at a show a few months ago, injuring fans and nearly cracking one's skull. Following his 'antics', the Six Flags venue posted a ban on all future metal shows. Well done, you ass.
          None of this news has hit the mainstream mostly because, well, Falling in Reverse never quite managed to hit the mainstream as well as Escape the Fate did. Maybe it's because their songs feature lyrics as awful as 'shut up, bitch, suck my dick!', or because their primary (and only) audience consists of 12-year old girls.  In either case, Radke's unfounded ego has made some of the band's only press negative.
        In any case, here's the video in question:

                 
        EDIT: It seems someone has found Radke's wikipedia page:

         EDIT 2: I forgot to mention possibly Radke's biggest fuckup. Following a suicide attempt by Get Scared frontman Nick Matthews, Radke messaged Matthews' girlfriend with a joke about the situation. You can read an article on the subject here.
          
          

Playlist of the Week - Week of 11/4: A Bloody Mess

     Welcome to another iteration of Playlist of the Week. This week features a compilation of randomness that I'm surprised showed up on my iPod in the first place.

1. Silverstein - Your Sword Versus My Dagger
2. Parkway Drive - Carrion
3. Periphery - Icarus Lives!
4. Enter Shikari - Enter Shikari
5. Every Time I Die - Home is Where You Hang Yourself
6. Motionless in White - Devil's Night
7. The Acacia Strain - Victims of the Cave
8. The Qemists - Stompbox
9. August Burns Red - Empire

     You can listen to it here. Happy listening!
      

Why We Can't Have Nice Things - My thoughts on the Woe Is Me and Issues 'Rivalry'

      Rivalries in music are unavoidable - two bands are too similar, and invariably the war against the "poser" begins as fans of one artist slam fans of the other. It's a vicious cycle that, when it starts to involve the artists themselves, ultimately becomes filled with mudslinging and vitriol. Rivalries amongst punk and metal bands already exist - The Devil Wears Prada dedicated their inflammatory song 'Pretenders' to Asking Alexandria, slamming the British group by saying "No one of any positive reputation will respect what you've done." Going back even further, who can forget the dramatic dichotomy of the 80s between Megadeth and Metallica? Perhaps this is, in part, due to the heightened egos many musicians have, that any potential 'usurpers' to their fame leads to rapid and offensive attack.
        Now, this is all fine in the case of a legitimate rivalry between bands of similar musical style, but what happens when you have 1.) a band composed almost entirely of members who deserted a previous band, 2.) a record label infamous for its disregard for musical talent, and 3.) an excitable fanbase that will do whatever said record label tells them to? You get the abomination that Rise Records is trying to shove down your throat this fall: a 100% synthetic 'rivalry' between Woe, Is Me, and newcomer Issues.
         A few months ago I did a commentary on Woe, Is Me when they re-released their first studio album Number[s] this summer.  In short, WIM drummer Austin Thornton's less-than-relatable personality drove the original lineup of the band apart fairly quickly. Former vocalist Tyler Carter had a brief, put promising R&B single called 'Side to Side' before Rise dragged him back into their new moneymaking idea - a five piece band almost identical in sound to WIM called Issues.
         Already this seems like a terrible idea. The departure of Issues' members from Woe Is Me were unfriendly to say the least. The least Rise could do was not sign Issues to respect the band members' desire to not have to deal with each other. But for the label who managed to force a 'friendship' between Pierce the Veil's Vic Fuentes and Sleeping With Sirens' Kellin Quinn, making an artificial rivalry was a piece of cake.
          So what did Rise do? Singles for the upcoming WIM album Genesi[s] and Issues' EP Black Diamonds were released on the same day. And, you guessed it, they were both slamming the other band. Issues made a jab at Genesi[s] with 'If you don't like these lyrics then go listen to Genesis', while WIM retorted with 'You're so proud of those one-liners you wrote, it must be hard to talk with a dick in your throat'.
            Just...seriously? Two bands composed of adult men are resorting to making gay jokes at each other? The blame falls squarely on WIM for this, but Issues' comment about Genesi[s] was completely out of line too. Metalcore is already dotted with overgrown babies and oversized egos (Abandon All Ships, I'm looking at you) and this isn't helping anything.  Swearing in a song doesn't make you 'edgy' or 'better' than anyone else - August Burns Red have yet to swear at all during their seven-year career. Taking jibes at other bands is fine, but deliberately calling them out is childish and cringe-worthy.
             But that doesn't stop right there - this polarization in the fanbase will lead to an upsurge in the fans' loyalty. What does this mean? It means that the average Issues or WIM fan will be less likely to download the music and more likely to buy the record - perhaps due to a delusion that they're 'supporting' the artist. Who profits from this the most? Rise. It's a clever scheme, that's for sure, but morally ambiguous to say the least.
             I'm going to go on record saying both bands are equally horrid (which is unfortunate for WIM, whose first album Number[s] was actually a great listen), but, in a pinch, I'd side with WIM. Issues has a predilection for terrible one-liners and cringe-inducing lines as brilliant as 'got the swag of a coward'. I understand the band members' frustration with Woe Is Me, but devoting an entire song to it is going too far. WIM's new material is Rise-y and definitely a step down, but it has its bright moments ('A Story To Tell' is decent). What's more, Issues has already lost its guitarist. Their EP isn't even out yet.
             To conclude, Rise's new PR stunt is a brilliant example of what's wrong with the scene right now. Egos running amok, record labels trying to capitalize on every little facet of a band's personality, and almost no emphasis on the quality of music being produced. I had my doubts about Rise this summer, when mediocre after mediocre release hit shelves, and was briefly hopeful when the Acacia Strain album was released, but this is a step back to the ludicrous, homogenous, overly capitalist Rise I know so well.
      

Happy Election Day!

     For all you North American freedom-lovers out there: why are you reading this? Go vote!

Five bands every metalcore fan will hear about at some point

    In every music scene, there are the bands everyone and their mother knows about. The Big Four of thrash - Slayer, Megadeth, Metallica, Anthrax - are the most notable example, but for every genre, there are artists that people flock to. What's popular is what's safe - it's when you start to stick your nose outside the mainstream that you start to draw the scorn of most people. Thus, it only makes sense that most people will cling to the large scale artists of the scene.
     Now, by no means is this a ridicule of the bands mentioned (well, at least not for most of them). Two of the artists are some of my favorite bands, and got me into metalcore in the first place. Most of these bands are by no means untalented - this is just a list of five bands any metalcore fan will either listen to or hear about at some point.


5. The Devil Wears Prada

    The only good core band to come out of Ohio (we don't talk about Attack Attack! or Miss May I), the Devil Wears Prada are infamous for their band name - taken as an anti-materialist creed from a book none of them had read - frontman Mike Hranica's piercing scream (and his missing tooth), and one of their most valuable gifts to metalcore today - the presence of a synth. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this last addition, as ever since their rise to fame every goddamn Rise clone has been some sort of trancecore stupidity.
      In any case, the band has become one of the cornerstones of popular metalcore today. Known for their frenetic stage presence and spectacular live show, their continuous evolution as an artist repeatedly draws me back in. What stands out the most about the music is two things - firstly, the synth's role became almost nonexistent in later albums - With Roots Above and Branches Below used it almost exclusively for atmospheric effects, and Dead Throne was an almost completely organic album. Secondly, later releases incorporated almost no breakdowns.
       It's this innovation that has propelled them to popularity among metalcore fans, including myself. While not as widely accepted outside the metalcore community as other bands (artists like Converge and As I Lay Dying are deemed 'respectable' in the eyes of the mainstream metal community), and still shunned as a 'scene band', a TDWP concert in town will have fans coming out of the woodwork to buy tickets a month before.


4. Of Mice & Men
     
         And here we come to one of the reasons metalheads despise metalcore. California Rise-token boys Of Mice & Men (fronted, unsurprisingly enough, by Attack Attack!'s ex-vocalist Austin Carlile), have the swoopy haircuts, uninteresting metalcore, and dearth of breakdowns you'd expect from every other band out there. I'm not saying nothing the band has put out has been good - 'Product of a Murderer' and the djenty new tracks released this year are pretty good, and I've listened to them a few times, but invariably gotten distracted by other bands.
       But how are they live? They're okay, I guess. Carlile has a bad habit of standing in place and staring at the crowd as all the kids with haircuts identical to his do karate in the pit. Not a bad sound, although I guess it's pretty easy to do what you do when your riffs are that simplistic.
        Regardless, the band is pretty all right lyrically. It's obvious Carlile puts his heart into the lyrics, and interviews with him reveal that he's been through a lot of shit in his life. Understandably, and commendably, it comes out in his music. But I can't help but think Jerry Roush was right in starting Glass Cloud - the Of Mice & Men boat wasn't exercising his full potential. 
         The band's received a lot of attention from various publications - AP and Kerrang! notably, and it's this press that's gotten them as famous as they are. My question is why? Is it because they're heavy and kind of catchy? In any case, I think they're a good entry-level band, but should be abandoned as soon as better music is discovered.

3. August Burns Red

         My personal favorite band, Pennsylvania's August Burns Red are mandatory listening for anyone interested in metalcore or already a fan. Incorporating more metal elements than any of the bands so far on the list, including rhythm experimentation, riffs composed of rapid notes, and equal use of clean and distorted guitar (all due to the guitar masterwork of J.B Brubauker), the band has one of the most unique sounds out there today.
       Indeed, the choice to eschew chugga chugga breakdowns has given the band the surprising approval of mainstream metalheads, who, as a rule, tend to sneer at anything vaguely Christian (and, lest we forget, ABR are quite Christian) or punk-related. The band's uplifting message, and the range of frontman Jake Luhrs furthers this distinction from the pack, and they've even spawned a mini genre of imitators (Texas in July being the most well-known).
            Deeply emotional lyrics, epic sound, and an incredible live show - which now includes a salsa break - makes even a seasoned mosh veteran shake their head in admiration. That, and every album since 2005 has been an improvement. Seriously. ABR are a band that cannot be avoided when discussing metalcore simply because, in so many ways, they have defined a part of metalcore today.

2. Asking Alexandria
           And now we come to the lowest of the goddamn low. The gutter feeders that binge on the money and love of a thousand screaming scenegirls. A gang of British prettyboys with lyrics so loathsome they make Oli Sykes look like Bob Dylan , instrumentals so pathetic they make Nickelback look like Malmsteen, and egos so monstrous they make Kanye look like the Dalai Lama.
           If it's not obvious, I hate this band.
           What's the name of this sonar abomination? Asking Alexandria. The posterboys for everything that will ever be wrong with music ever. Do they lack musical skill? Thanks to excessive drug use, frontman Danny Worsnop sounds like an aged lawnmower. How about their lyrics? It's safe to say bands as heinous as Capture the Crown got their inspiration from some Asking Alexandria songs ('Not the American Average' comes to mind), and finally, the only reason the band is as popular as they are is twofold.

1. They're British.
2. Their fanbase is composed of screaming, tone-deaf tweenage girls who see an attractive singer and swoon.

        It's inevitable: the musicians with the loudest fanbase will always get on top, regardless of how good they are. Look at popular music today and tell me I'm wrong, but that's because their foundation is so loyal and so loud. What really grinds my gears is when synthcore derp bands like Asking Alexandria open for BFD bands like Slayer and Motorhead (this summer's Mayhem lineup springs to mind). Next to diehard metalheads are bouncing teenagers who put the 'dance' in 'hardcore dancing'. I think the only wall of death AA has ever seen was captured in the aforementioned 'Not the American Average' music video.            And what makes matters worse: because bands like Asking Alexandria are so popular, outsiders to the metalcore scene see them and immediately think all bands are like them. Asking Alexandria (and a few other terrible scenecore groups like Make Me Famous or Sleeping with Sirens) is what springs to mind when the average metalhead thinks of 'core' and, like us, they shake their heads in disgust. 

1. Parkway Drive
        I had to resist the urge to make all five bands 'Parkway Drive', considering almost everyone I've ever met who's into metalcore has had a huge, huge thing for this band. Straight out of who-knows-where (Byron Bay) Australia, the band is a long-standing staple of modern metalcore, debuting with bands as fundamental as I Killed the Prom Queen - literally. The bands released a split EP in 2003.
         I'd be lying if I said I shared in the incredible hype this band has received ever since. I realize I started listening to PWD with the weakest link Deep Blue, but my attempts at getting into brand-spanking new album Atlas (released literally a week ago in North America) or Killing with a Smile (widely hailed as one of the best LP entrances in the industry today) have been less than fruitful. I do like Horizons though. I respect the band's technical prowess ('Dark Days' off the newest album is particularly awesome. BEHOLD THE PALE HORSE!) and their decision to make Atlas an environmental album, but for the life of me, I can't get into them.
       However, that hasn't stopped them from being the metalcore act of the twenty first century. Go to any metalcore board or forum, and ask the question 'who likes Parkway Drive?' and I can guarantee almost everyone will start drooling. That's completely understandable - in a scene where Rise Records holds such prominence, the tasteful and fun use of breakdowns is a valuable commodity. PWD's breakdowns are as heavy as they are innovative - the chug is present, but time signature variations keep you on your toes.
        It's this unique sound, I believe, that has made the band as tantamount to modern metalcore as it is. PWD has evolved with every album they've released, and as such has avoided going stale as the genre evolved with them. In the metal community, PWD are often mentioned in the same breath as As I Lay Dying due to the prevalence of metal elements in their music - and it's this predilection for both the 'metal' and 'core' that has made Parkway Drive into the juggernaut it is today. 

Playlist of the Week - Week of 10/28/12 - Scenesters Rejoice!

      I've decided to introduce a new element of the website. My iPod is a strange and wonderful place. Too often, I'll add a song, listen to it twice, and then, unexpectedly, it falls off my head. Thankfully, technology means it still lurks, waiting for the fateful day when I decide to replay it, and fall back in love. Alternatively, thanks to the aether of the internet, new bands are just waiting to be found. To this end, I've decided to make weekly playlists to track my favorite songs - think of it as a way of keeping time. I'll be using Grooveshark to save the playlists, so if anyone's interested in judging my shitty taste in music, you can feel free.
   
     This week, I returned to my post-hardcore roots, and started listening to stuff that would make any well-meaning metalhead cringe. Whatever. As Memphis May Fire would say, 'I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR JUDGEMENTS'!

1. We Came as Romans - Broken Statues
2. The Devil Wears Prada - Dogs Can Grow Beards All Over
3. Blessthefall - To Hell and Back
4. Vanna - Heavens to Betsy
5. Born of Osiris - Singularity
6. Every Time I Die - Wanderlust
7. Memphis May Fire - Ghost in the Mirror
8. Obey the Brave - Unstoppable
9. I See Stars - Filth Friends Unite

     The full playlist can be found here. Happy listening!
       

Five of the Funniest Bands Out There

 Sometimes, it's important to let loose and laugh at yourselves. Being a straight-stick-in-the-mud is a great way to get mocked yourself, so oftentimes the best way to avoid unwanted ridicule is to do it yourself.  Too often, we see bands that treat themselves like the second coming of Jesus, and everything they do is testament to their massive ego. This post is a salute to the few, the proud, the bands that are straight-up funny to see live - not because the music is bad, but because the artists are some of the funniest out there.


1. Protest the Hero

      Canadian progressive group Protest the Hero present one of the more unfortunate stories in music today. Combine an incredibly talented guitarist, drummer, and singer with incredible range and you get - minimal recognition, despite three albums under their belt. In any case, Protest the Hero are known for two things - their swept riffs and unpredictable song structure, and frontman Rody Walker (known affectionately as 'Rode the Chode')'s stage antics and long rants in between songs.
      I've seen Protest three times in the past two years - they are by no means a lazy band. Whether it was opening for Black Label Society, or fronting their own tour with Blind Witness and Today I Caught the Plague, Protest has brought their A-game to every show, while retaining a blatant sense of humor that lasts from soundcheck to finale.
       Avowed Trekkies (see above), the band never forgets to salute Leonard Nemoy or William Shatner (ESPECIALLY Shatner when they played in Montreal) during each set. Walker even wore a Star Trek shirt and engaged in a five-minute rip on Star Wars while on stage. At the New England Hardcore Festival, the band opened with sex tapes - of themselves, of course -before taking the stage with an epic rendition of 'Hot Cross Buns'. The absurd is kept at an all-time high, except when they're playing...no, even when they're playing. Walker will pull up his shirt, rub his nipples at the crowd, or lick the microphone seductively.
       They're even on reddit (read the comments, they're hilarious)! Despite their relative obscurity, the band is willing to kick back and laugh at themselves on a regular basis. It's this light-heartedness that makes them so likeable, and why I find myself constantly jamming out to 'Kezia' without realizing it.

2. Every Time I Die
        Ah, Every Time I Die. Ask any diehard metal fan out there, and this will be one of the only core bands they respect. The Buffalo quartet has also stayed mostly on the DL throughout their thirteen years on the scene, but have maintained a cult following despite playing Warped Tour for years. Despite never attracting mainstream attention, the band has put out six albums, and Andy Williams (right)'s facial hair has maintained one of hardcore's most hallowed sacraments.
         Known for their frenetic stage presence and intense energy, the band's completely organic sound (not synths here!) is a beacon of clarity in a scene dominated by pop-punk clones who think they can scream. Even more apparent is their bitingly sarcastic sense of humor which, when blended with mastermind Keith Buckley's lyrics, gives rise to songs as sharp as 'Goddamn Kids These Days' (a criticism of the hardcore scene of the late naughties) and 'Romeo A Go-Go' (which calls out people who fight for love as absurd). As far as being on stage is concerned, the band's energy prevails, but their method of relaying their lyrical message - through sarcasm, especially through sarcasm - is what makes them such a funny band.
         It's a different kind of funny. One that requires you to read into the band's lyrics and realize that the world itself is an absurd place, and the band takes that message and runs with it, exaggerating it to its fullest potential. It's probably this ability to write actually meaningful lyrics that require thinking about that has kept the band out of the mainstream for so long, but damned if they aren't one of the most talented out there.

3. The Acacia Strain

       One of my favorite bands for their message of extreme misanthropy and utter musical minimalism, the Acacia Strain's sense of humor is completely absent from their music, which is only humorous when how completely over-the-top it is ('The thought of your genitals makes me sick/You could fit five cocks up that ass/Five cocks up that ass!"). Instead, the band's sense of humor comes from how they conduct themselves off the stage.
        Firstly and foremostly, every music video the band has put out has been HILARIOUS, but my favorite has to be theirs for 'Skynet', which features the band dressed as country hicks infiltrating and taking over a show. When I saw the band this summer on the Scream It Like You Mean It! Tour, the band left the stage to a recording of a heavily-lisped person bashing the band by saying 'they should chop off their hands and shit on them, and then throw em down a well and shit on the well!' along with an Abba song.
       The band, who recently put out their fifth album Death is the Only Mortal, put out this interview. You know it's gonna be good when the first thing that's said is 'I'm Vincent. I'm better than you'. The band even mocks their recent signing to Rise Records, which is in and of itself hilarious as the label has probably never seen anything as heavy as the band. The description of the band on facebook is one word: HEAVY. The period was added. The Acacia Strain does not care for your pitiful punctuation.

4. The Dillinger Escape Plan

     Here we have a band that's not funny and doesn't try to be in the slightest. Their music is as chaotic and ridiculous as how they behave on stage. Go to a DEP concert and you have a chance to see:
         1.) The band crowdsurfing more than the audience.
         2.) The band members on top of amps, stage wiring, etc.
         3.) Guitars being tossed around like candy, sometimes during 1.) and 2.)
         4.) Choke grips, spin kicks, and all the other accoutrements of a metal show.
       And therein lies why the band is so funny - it's because they're so irrevocably, unconditionally insane. DEP's stage presence is like watching a man enter a knife fight with an octopus. What's more, everyone has seen the band put on a different show - some people will laugh about how in '99 the band had a blowtorch, others will say in '05 singer Morris Plains hung upside down from the rigging for two minutes.
       This inherently makes the band the type of 'I'm scared for my life' sort of funny. It's so insane you almost need to pinch yourself to make sure you're not dreaming, and the band's rapid change of speed, style, and melody heightens both the tension and the sense of the absurd. It's a kind of insanity that you need to see to believe.

5. Killswitch Engage (Mostly just Adam D.)

     The seminal Massachusetts metalcore band is known for leading the charge in the current wave of metalcore (along with August Burns Red) and the New American Wave of Heavy Metal (with Avenged Sevenfold) on first glance, seems to be a particularly serious band. Uplifting, yet no-nonsense lyrics and metal elements aside, the band is one of the funniest to see if only for the infamous stage antics of lead guitarist Adam Dutkiewicz - who, as an aside, helped produce albums from artists on this list already (TAS' 3750 and ETID's Last Night in Town) to releases as recent as The Devil Wears Prada's Dead Throne. He's an accomplished man, no one's doubting that, but on stage, the beast truly is unleashed.
       With a predilection for short shorts and capes, Dutkiewicz is known to steal the microphone on multiple occasions to yell inanities at the crowd in between songs, mock emo kids ('DRINK BEER, FUCK WOMENS!'), or edit song titles ('I WANT A GIRL WHO'LL WEAR MY BALLS LIKE AN ICEPACK.')
        While it might annoy Kerry King, he keeps on going. Known to wear Katy Perry shirts that are multiple sizes too small, and walk like a dinosaur on stage, Adam D's sense of humor spills over to the rest of the band as well. The music video for their cover of Dio's 'Holy Diver' takes the original and adds a twist of the ludicrous. And yes, that's Adam D as the princess. That's to say nothing of the fact that pictures like these pop up. While overall a rather serious band, it's Adam D's ability to make the crowd laugh that makes Killswitch so beloved.
       In closing: yes, he's holding a sword in his wikipedia photo.

Mitch Lucker Dead in Motorcycle Accident

   

      The details are still hazy, but Suicide Silence frontman Mitch Lucker has been confirmed dead following a tragic motorcycle accident last night, Metalsucks reports.
     The accident came just as the band was set to start touring with Asking Alexandria and As I Lay Dying as part of the Outbreak Tour this December, beginning with the California Metalfest later this month.
      My condolences and thoughts go out to Lucker's family, bandmates and friends. Suicide Silence was a band that revolutionized the deathcore genre, and it won't quite be the same without Lucker at the front.